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Let’s start out by acknowledging that intimacy is NOT just sex. In fact, you can be intimate without having sex at all. And you can have sex without being intimate.

Then what is intimacy? Intimacy is BEING VULNERABLE. It’s allowing someone into your space and trusting them. What’s one of the first things that often happens when you first start dating someone? You hold hands, right? That is an act of intimacy. That feeling of your partner’s hand in yours feels electrifying, doesn’t it? Passionate kissing is intimate. Gazing into each other’s eyes is also very intimate. In fact, some would argue these can be even more intimate than sex.

If you and your partner are feeling a bit less connected lately…maybe due to illness, injury, trauma, distance or something else that might be impacting your ability to have sex the way you once did, it doesn’t mean you have to lose the intimacy between you. You just have to find other ways of creating it. If sex is off the table, then be creative.

Here are a few fun ways to create intimacy:

• Couples’ massages – Turn the lights down, light some candles, get the massage oil and some mood music and take turns massaging each other.
• Hold Hands – Go for a walk around the neighborhood holding hands.
• Cook together – Find a new recipe, find some music and share the cooking duties one night. Take it up a notch by wearing something you feel sexy in or not in 😉
• Go for a scenic drive and talk to each other –  Asking each other fun questions rather than the usual conversation is a great way to feel closer and maybe learn something new!
• Laugh together – Watch comedy, go to stand-up, read jokes together…laughter creates space for intimacy.
• Acknowledge & Appreciate – Tell each other what you appreciate about one another. Be sure to remove all distractions and try to look at each other when doing this.
• Phone sex – If distance is the issue, try phone sex as a way to connect when you’re apart.
• If illness or injury is the issue, get creative! There are so many ways to get intimate without traditional sex.

As humans, we crave belonging and intimacy. And I am sure I’m not the only one who feels the stress in my body when a relationship is out of whack. That stress is harmful to your health! Don’t carry it around longer than necessary.

If your relationship can use a little pick-me-up, commit to trying some of these ideas and see if you and your partner can rekindle that spark!

Time to make yourself (and your relationships) your priority.