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Do you ever have this vision in your head of how things ideally play out only to be tossed upside down when reality doesn’t comply with your vision? You imagine yourself staying calm and equanimous, but 5 minutes into the situation you’re back to that reactionary place that you end of regretting later. 

I have been a dedicated meditator for several years. The one thing my meditation teacher told me when I first started was that meditation will pay off if you’re committed to the long game. It’s not a quick fix, but it will change your life. I wanted to share a real-life situation that demonstrates this perfectly…. 

I recently had a setback. A situation where I let someone get under my skin. Anger and frustration rose in me and I allowed them to get into my space. I gave away my power –  momentarily.

This incident started out like other’s I’ve had with this person, but what was different was how I felt afterwards. In the moment, I certainly felt heated, but I wasn’t as reactionary as I would have been a year ago. I allowed a little more time before responding. And this, my friends, is PROGRESS! I’m not saying I handled things perfectly or that emotions stayed calm the entire time. But it felt less intense and I was able to detach from it faster. I didn’t replay the scenario over and over in my head like I used to. Instead, I did what I felt I needed to do, then let it be. And when things didn’t end the way I wanted them to, I was okay. I didn’t allow myself to give away my power for as long as I used to.

Sometimes the benefits of your wellness and spiritual practices won’t show up immediately…maybe not for years.  Sometimes you might question what’s the point…especially if you aren’t noticing any changes. I’m living proof that if you stay the course and stay committed, you will see your life start to change. It might not be a grandiose event that hits you over the head with awareness. Instead one day you realize you aren’t carrying as much negative emotions with you as you once did. Or you don’t get overly irritated at the guy who cuts you off on your commute home. You start to notice the magic in simple things you otherwise maybe hardly noticed before like the tree outside your window, a stranger’s smile, or simply the endless colors in nature. It’s these small yet extraordinary changes that add up to a happier, more present, and more joyful YOU. And I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to commit to sitting every day in meditation for those benefits.

If you feel as if you are in a perpetual pattern of reactionary behaviors, I understand you… I’ve there. I want to share a few tips to help you keep your power and prevent future regrets.

5 Steps To Letting Go:

1. When you first encounter the difficulty, notice where you feel it in your body. Describe the location and sensation with as much detail as you can. Get curious.

2. Try to take a few deep breaths into that particular space in your body. If it feels like a knot, imagine it releasing on the exhale. If it feels like tightness in your chest, imagine more space in your lungs on the inhale.

3. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way. What is it that is really bothering you about the situation.

4. Picture yourself responding to the situation in a detached and neutral way.

5. Respond (if necessary) from this detached space. Then let it go.

This time of year can be a trigger for stress for many people. If you find yourself a little less patient or more reactive, give these steps a try. Let’s share our presence and leave regret behind.